apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I didn't notice because vodka
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
