Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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