apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
