I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You did what with his pubic hair?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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