before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
