its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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