I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Randomize
