Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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