..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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