On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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