When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
