a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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