fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
