Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
