I just threw up on my dentist
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
