i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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