I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Randomize