this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
