she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
