just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
