Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize