your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Can you bring me the toilet please
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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