Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
