Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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