i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I am mentally ready for anal.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize