drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
