he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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