Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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