I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
