That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
