Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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