I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
