never play flip cup with pint glasses
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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