here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize
