if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
