I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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