It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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