He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize