Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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