Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
