I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
