I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
