She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize