My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
