Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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