i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
