i just had sex bonerless
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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