Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
