I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Randomize
