just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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