Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I need to calm my uterus...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
