to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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