I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
