Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
