So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
