i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
