The maid of honor just puked.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
17 year olds will be the death of me.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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