Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
