Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
