Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
