tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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