omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
