Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
