marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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